


Newlywed Game

by Neverever



Category: Avengers Assemble
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Escape, Game Shows, M/M, Mojoworld, Mutual Pining, POV Third Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:49:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24674143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neverever/pseuds/Neverever
Summary: When Mojo kidnaps the Avengers to play game shows, Steve and Tony have to play the Newlywed Game while Natasha engineers the team's escape. Steve and Tony think they're the worst choice to play the game.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 37
Kudos: 344
Collections: Avengers Assemble Anniversary 2020, Team Fluff





	Newlywed Game

**Author's Note:**

> My beta, Arms_plutonic, was a fantastic help with the writing of this, especially with selecting questions for Steve and Tony to answer. Thank you so so so much.
> 
> Thank you, Maru, for putting together this anniversary collection!

Just another wasted Saturday being held captive by Mojo and his production team. 

One minute Sam was working merrily away on his latest engineering project, next thing he was beamed right into a tiny holding cell, courtesy of Mojo Intergalactic Productions. No one had been in their uniform or armed when kidnapped. The rest of the team were conferring with Clint and Hulk about escaping. Except for Tony, who was attempting to pick the cell door locks. 

Steve was a different story.

Everyone else had shuffled away from him, leaving him in his own corner. Steve was so angry Sam could practically see the steam coming out of his ears and feel the waves of irritation and annoyance radiating off him. Sam didn’t know why he was so angry and wasn’t sure that he wanted the answer.

“Could use a little help here, Steve,” Tony said, immediately diffusing some of Steve’s anger.

Still, Steve grumped his way over to Tony. Sam watched Tony try to pick the lock and Steve act as if he were Tony’s third arm, holding and handing Tony his improvised tools with no words between them. Like he was reading Tony’s mind.

Sam shook his head, wrenching his attention back to the matter at hand. “What’s the deal here?” he asked Clint and Hulk.

Clint ran a hand over his face. “Mojo is an intergalactic fight promoter. You know -- that guy that had Hulk fight on what passes for intergalactic television. Whatever they call it.”

“I was good!” Hulk said. 

“You sure were, big guy,” Clint said. “I thought we sent him packing when we beat his producing team.”

“Hey!” Tony said as the door slid open, revealing a couple of aliens with holographic tablets.

One of them, an older-seeming being with grey skin and a couple of tentacles sprouting from their head, stepped forward. “Thank you for accepting our offer --”

“We were kidnapped,” Steve interrupted. “We expect --”

The alien made a noise in the universal language of I-am-too-old-for-this-shit. They continued, “Accepting our generous offer of participating in Mojo Productions’ latest shows.” The other alien — shorter, rounder, redder — held up a pile of tablets. “We have you assigned to different game shows -- which are remarkably popular now -- and you have a choice of the show to appear on.”

“And we get to go home?” Clint added.

“Yeah, that can be arranged,” the grey alien replied. Although not with the confidence that Sam would have preferred. “You have a few minutes, then lunch, and then the contests.”

“And then we go home,” Steve said, his voice edging into the commanding tone he usually took.

Natasha immediately jumped up and pulled Steve back. Usually Cap would be the first choice to negotiate, but today the Avengers weren’t all that certain that Steve wouldn’t just start negotiating with his fists. “I’m their agent, so I need to talk to Mojo about our contract.”

The older alien brightened a bit since Natasha was speaking his native show producer language. “Indeed, I can arrange that, but it will take time, of course. Perhaps you could negotiate with your clients about who does which game. I would recommend that you take part as well and encourage, um, some loosening of the clothing. I understand mammal-species might find the males attractive, if more revealed.”

“Will do.” Natasha gave the round alien a pleasant smile as she took the pile of tablets.

“Please don’t pick the lock. We’ll regretfully have to charge you for any damage,” the round alien said pointedly to Tony.

Natasha handed out the tablets. “Doesn’t appear to be a fight to the death.”

“We don’t have the time for whatever bullshit Mojo is on,” Steve said, still visibly in no mood for whatever situation they were in.

“You have to be angry to resort to modern speech there, Cap.” Tony sat down next to Steve on the bench lining the wall and picked up his tablet. “It’s okay, Steve. We can get back to the Babylon 5 marathon later.”

Steve grumbled something that no one could hear and looked down at his tablet.

“Why can we read these?” Sam asked, surprised to see English words popping from the screen.

“A form of the All-speak, I am sure,” Thor said. “Common across the galaxy.”

“I really hope Mojo didn’t get ideas from Impossible Man,” Clint muttered. “Oh look, game shows. I’m not doing any of this.”

Sam glanced over at Steve and Tony who were reading through the game show options on Steve’s tablet. Tony was leaning into Steve’s shoulder as Steve scowled at the screen. Tony was doing some sort of Steve Management that nobody needed to interfere with.

Natasha said, “This is easy. Thor for the Trivia Quiz --”

Clint groaned. “Thor for the Jeopardy but with Celebrity Questions game?”

“Seriously, Clint, you want to risk Hulk or I-just-arrived-from-the-40s Steve answering celebrity questions?” Natasha asked. “We’re playing against aliens. Thor has the edge here.”

“People Magazine is a fine collection of news of the famous,” Thor declared. “I read such literature often home in Asgard.”

“Fine,” Clint said through gritted teeth. “The next game?”

“Sam and you, for the Guess the Price game.”

“Not me,” Sam immediately said.

Natasha sighed. “Work with me, okay. One, we’re playing against aliens and we have no leverage, so the odds are against us and I have no idea what we’d be guessing on. But we put up Tony, the billionaire? He has no idea what anything costs.”

“Hey -- I do!” Tony protested.

“Extra large pizza with all the toppings from the House of Pizza?” Natasha asked.

“Um, 4 dollars? 5?”

“Count me in,” Sam said. “Me too,” Clint added.

“What about this game? The Newlywed Game?” Steve asked dubiously. 

“Steve and Tony,” the whole team chimed in.

“Check,” Natasha said, tapping on the screen.

Tony blinked a few times. “I don’t see why Steve and I are the right choice for that game --”

“Don’t we have to be newlyweds to play?” Steve asked.

“Seriously, you’re asking why you two?” Clint asked. “Seriously?”

“Steve, you don’t have to be married to play it. Oh, I have an appointment with Mojo himself, right now,” Natasha said.

“Talk him into a better cell,” Clint asked.

“You’re coming with me as my personal assistant,” Natasha said, pulling on Sam’s sleeve.

“Not Clint?” Sam said.

“Yeah, not a good idea -- I shot Mojo’s flying chair down back in New York,” Clint said. He frowned. “I’ll explain game shows to Steve and Thor here.”

“Hawkeye did great,” Hulk added, thumping Clint on his shoulder.

Natasha returned an hour later, followed by Sam and the guards pushing a hand cart full of clothes. She sat down on the bench and tucked her hair up into a bun. “First, food will be delivered shortly. Show will be filmed in three hours.”

“Show?” Steve asked.

She looked very pleased with herself. “I negotiated us to one game show. We win, we go home --”

“Sure we will,” Clint muttered.

“If we lose, we’ll play more games.”

“What’s the game?” Tony asked. 

“The Newlywed Game. I have some costumes for you and Steve to try on. Mojo wasn’t going to budge on that point.” Natasha waved a hand towards the cart. “I got us a deal we can use. Tony and Steve play that game. I have to watch because I’m their agent. But everyone else needs to hijack a ship during the game.”

“Right.” Sm nodded. “Because we don’t trust Mojo.”

“Hulk hijack,” Hulk said, with an unholy gleam in his eye.

“Yeah, Big Guy, that’s exactly it,” Clint said. 

“Thor needs to pick out the ship -- he has the most experience with interstellar travel. Sam’s in charge of the mission.”

“Fine, he’s Replacement Tony,” Clint said.

“Hey, I’m a SHIELD trained agent.”

“I still don’t understand why you need me to play the game,” Steve grumbled, in case anyone forgot that he was peeved. 

Tony walked over and picked up a filmy blue robe from the pile. “Uh, Natasha --” He waved the diaphanous robe at her.

She shrugged. “I’ve worn worse. You can deal, Tony.”

Tony made a strangled noise. “But Steve, in this.”

Natasha was reading her tablet. “Yeah, whatever. You barely have time for food before makeup and hair.”

“It shows everything,” Tony gritted out. 

She blinked and looked at Steve in his workout clothes. “You aren’t wearing the tighty-whities today?”

“Steve wears compression shorts when he works out. Those shorts are not going to look good with this,” Tony insisted.

“Yes, I am wearing compression shorts.”

Natasha sighed deeply. “Figure it out. Mojo wants the sex appeal -- that’s what you have to choose from.”

Clint turned to Sam. “And they’re wondering why they’re the Newlywed Game team.”

Sam wondered and not for the first time why he had ditched SHIELD academy to join the Avengers. SHIELD meetings and missions weren’t like this.

~~~~~

Natasha waited patiently outside Hair and Makeup for Steve and Tony to emerge. She checked her tablet. Sam had discovered the code for the lock to their cell when dinner arrived and made plans for when Natasha would sneak back to let the team out. If everything worked just right, she’d meet up with the team near the space port just before the game ended, Thor would have stolen a portal generator, and Steve and Tony would catch up as soon as they could make an escape.

She had every faith that they could pull this off and be back on Earth in time for her television show. Saved by the Barn was on the silly side of animal rescue shows. But she was a little invested in the animals and it was a good break from the crazy stuff she had to deal with for the day job. Hmm, maybe she’d make a night of it and watch a marathon.

Tony was the first to emerge. He’d had changed into a red and gold robe embroidered with tiny flying birds and finished off with gold ribbons. Otherwise he looked like Everyday Tony in a fancy bathrobe. Except for being more washed and pressed with a beard trim.

“Where’s your partner in crime?” Natasha asked.

Tony huffed. “You didn’t tell us that Mojo thought we were married.”

She bit her tongue before retorting that everyone thought Steve and Tony were married. Even alien races who had never heard of Earth thought they were married. “I had to improvise. Where’s Steve?”

As if on cue, Steve appeared from a door down the hallway from them. The robe he was wearing had been designed for a smaller being, and the filmy blue fabric clung for dear life to Steve’s shoulders. Steve had tied the robe shut at his waist, but the tie had settled seductively on his hip as the edges of the robe slid open to reveal his chest. The diaphanous robe also barely covered Steve’s ass. 

It was certainly something. 

Then as Steve walked towards them, she noticed the silver dust sparkling on Steve’s skin, face and hair, the slight touches of makeup around the eyes and on the cheeks, and the silver ear cuff on Steve’s right ear.

It was a whole lot of something.

“He’s grumpy,” Tony said. 

“Huh,” Natasha replied.

“He might hurt someone if they take a picture or something,” Tony added.

“Steve’s going to be on intergalactic television.”

“I doubt that,” Tony said. “We’re going to bomb at this game so bad, Mojo will want to keep us around for a comedy show.”

“Right.”

“Hey, Steve,” Tony said brightly. “Not bad, I wonder what the Cabal would say if you showed up like that.”

“Hmmph,” Steve said. He pulled away from Tony’s hand. “M’la said she’d skin you alive if you messed up my makeup. I think she can do it.”

“Did -- did she give you a haircut?” Natasha asked, examining Steve’s hair closely.

“Looks like it,” Tony agreed. “Looks good, Steve.”

Steve gave Tony a blushy smile. And Natasha wanted to slam their faces together until they kissed. She settled for explaining the rules. “Four teams and four rounds of questions. You get points when you answer questions correctly. The two teams with the most points at the end of the four rounds have three final question to answer. The couple that answers the most questions correctly in the final round wins.”

“What kind of questions?” Steve asked, looking hopeful, like the questions might possibly all be about WWII battles. 

Tony groaned. “It’s the Newlywed Game. They’re going to ask questions like we’re married, Steve, like married married. Nat, this is going to be unmitigated disaster.”

“You’ll be fiiiiiiine,” she reassured him. A bell rang and people rushed around. “That’s the call sign for the show.”

The host, a tall, elegant alien with lovely grey scales and wings, announced, “Welcome to this week’s Mojo Productions Newlywed Game. I’m your host, Loarde. And let’s bring out our wonderful couples.”

The four couples were paraded out in front of the cameras, with each couple getting a lovely introduction. Natasha’s new best friend in the entire galaxy, the main producer of the show, let her look through the camera. Which lingered on Steve’s better assets while Steve and Tony were introduced as newlyweds from exotic Earth. Mojo sure knew what he was doing. 

Steve and three other spouses were led off to a soundproof room. Tony sat alert and thoughtful and quickly wrote down the answers to each question.

“Nat?” Sam’s voice said in her ear comm. “We’re out of the cell.”

“Okay,” she replied. 

“They’re broadcasting the show everywhere --”

“Uh huh.”

“We’re going to die, aren’t we?”

“Trust me, Sam. Get on with the plan.”

The assistants brought out Steve and the rest to join their partners on set. Loarde gave a wink and smile to the studio audience. “The green room was nice, wasn’t it? So, first question: Who said I Love You first?”

He went down the row, until he reached Steve. Steve sighed and answered, “Tony.” Tony lifted his card that said ‘Tony.’ 

The host continued. “What does your spouse find most attractive about you?” Steve said, “Ass”; Tony’s card, “My ass.” 

Sam gasped in her ear at the question: “When does your spouse prefer to make love -- morning, noon, or night?” 

Steve didn’t miss a beat. “Morning.” Tony smiled and held up a card in his neat handwriting, ‘Morning.’

“See, I told you they would do great. They’re tied at 5 points,” Natasha replied.

The next round, Steve answered the questions, while Tony cooled his heels in the green room. Sam reported into Natasha, “Thor is betting that the Vanaheim couple will go to the finale.”

“Not after that round, I doubt.”

“Well, I doubt Tony and Steve will make it to the finale either,” Sam said.

Steve and Tony again matched on each question. Natasha’s faith in her teammates was tested when the host asked: “If we looked at the pictures in your phone, how many pictures do you have of your spouse alone and not in a group?”

Tony confidently reported, “Steve has fourteen pictures.” Steve held up his card with “14” on it.

“He has that many pictures?” Sam asked.

“Guess so,” Natasha replied.

She nearly missed the next question, “What’s the last secret you told your spouse?”

Tony quickly responded, “About the last box of pizza bagels in the workshop refrigerator.” Steve held up a card saying the same thing. 

Loarde asked, “That’s a secret?”

“You don’t know our roommate Hulk,” Tony said, flashing a smile. 

Natasha could tell that Steve and Tony weren’t quite at ease yet, they sat wary and concerned. Good, she could trust them to stick to the plan, and the longer they were in the game, the longer the team had to get everything to escape. She ducked into a corner to talk to Sam. “They’re taking a break. Steve and Tony have 10 points, and are ahead by one. How’s the portal generator hunt?” she asked Sam.

“We have a lead.”

“The break is for fifteen minutes -- touch-ups for hair and makeup and dousing Steve in more glitter, from what I can tell.”

“Okay.”

As Natasha predicted, the Vanaheim couple came in last place and left with a lovely consolation prize of season tickets to Mojo Productions fight nights. She told Sam to tell Thor that the couple had a ride home in case he was worried. All the other contestants were volunteers, so they would probably be able to leave without much fuss.

Except the main producer had clearly fallen in love with Steve and Tony and ordered the camera people to show them as much as possible. “They make for fantastic television,” the producer said to Natasha.

“Yeah.”

“Mojo is going to want them for all the games. You’ve hit paydirt here, lady.”

“That’s great. Super.” Sam had better find that portal generator by the middle of the next round.

She saw Steve and Tony briefly. “You’re doing great,” she said encouragingly.

Tony rolled his eyes. “Softball questions, Nat. Anyone could guess our answers. Steve’s a morning person, my ass is an American treasure.”

“Stick to the plan. I don’t know when I’ll get to talk to you next,” she warned them.

Next round, the third one, a glittery Steve was up first and Tony was showing a bit more swagger when he returned back from the green room. Supposedly the questions were harder. 

Loarde read the question, “According to your spouse, what is the funniest photo they’ve ever seen of you?”

“That’s easy,” Sam said in Natasha’s comm.

Tony nearly doubled over laughing. “When he fell on his ass with the jetboots.” Steve flipped over his card, “Falling on my ass with the jetboots.”

“And which of your spouse’s possessions do they treasure the most?”

“That would be this tin of watercolor paints he got when he was ten,” Tony replied not skipping a beat.

Natasha knew about that tin. Tony had tracked it down at an obscure memorabilia auction for a Christmas present for Steve. Steve had been incredibly touched ….. Team Steve & Tony won the point.

She heard Sam’s sharp breath at the next question: “When it’s time to be intimate, who makes the first move?”

“Sam, what’s the problem?”

“They’re not going to get that. Clint’s doubled over laughing.”

“Get that portal generator, Sam.”

Tony rubbed his chin and then confidently said, “I do.” Steve showed his card with “Tony” on it.

Fourth round. If Steve and Tony passed this round, they had three finale questions to answer and the game was over. Except Natasha felt a bit rattled after hearing the questions the host asked Tony for the next round. She had no idea how they were going to get through this. The point totals were really close. 

The A'askavariian couple were nearly tied with Steve and Tony. If the Xandarian couple answered all 5 questions correctly and Steve and Tony missed a couple, they could be eliminated. And she didn’t know if Sam had found the portal generator.

Tony and Steve agreed on the first two questions about pet names and the last argument they had. Then came the question: “What was the best vacation you took together?”

Tony didn’t hesitate. “That weekend in the French Riviera last year.” Steve smiled and held up his card marked with Weekend in the French Riviera, to applause. 

Natash hadn’t known about that. She had a keen sense of where her teammates were at all times. When did Steve and Tony escape work long enough for a weekend away?

Tony had picked up that the crowd was pulling for him and Steve to run the board and get all the questions right. “Classic car auction --”

“F-1 race,” Steve added. He aimed a beatific and fond smile at Tony. 

“What’s going on, Nat? These two women just swooned next to me,” Sam asked.

“First, why are you using ‘swoon’ like you’re Steve, and two, where’s my portal generator?” Natasha asked. She wasn’t even bothering to hide anymore once she explained to everyone around her that she was negotiating a deal for some important clients back on Earth. The crew gave her a wide berth.

“We’re waiting for Thor and Clint to find a hand cart so we can take it to the ship.”

The host asked: “It turns me on when my spouse _____.”

“Is Tony blushing?” Clint asked in her comm.

“Don’t you have a hand cart to find?” she snapped back. No way was Tony going to get this right. 

“It turns me on when my spouse --” Tony turned and nudged Steve -- “when my spouse breathes on my neck at the datacrux, when he surprises me with coffee.”

Steve proudly held up his card “When I breathe on his neck at the datacrux when I bring him coffee.”

“I’m so glad we checked them for mind-reading abilities,” Natasha’s producer friend said. “This is great. You can’t get this with scripted television. Now if they would just kiss, that would be fantastic.”

Steve and Tony were competitive people, more competitive that Hulk or Thor. That’s how they were doing it, Natasha knew. They wanted to win, that’s why they were working so hard on the answers.

The producer said into his headset. “Thank you, Mojo, that’s great news. Hey everyone, we’re getting the best ratings we’ve ever gotten. Extra drinks tickets for the crew.”

She tensed up with the final question in the round. The host winked at the camera and tapped his card on the podium. “Ready for the last question?”

“Sure am,” Tony replied.

“Okay, you got it. Would you say your spouse agrees or disagrees with the phrase ‘size does matter’?”

Tony snorted. “No, he’d disagree with that.” Steve held up his card with Disagree neatly printed out. Tony added, “He’d say that it was the motion of the ocean that matters.” Without skipping a beat, Steve nodded vigorously.

“How does Steve know about the motion of the ocean?” Clint asked.

“He was in the army during a war, that’s why. Where’s --”

“Relax,” Clint said in that way that definitely did not encourage Natasha to relax at all. “We’re on our way to the space port with the generator.”

The Xandarian couple was sent off with their prize of (yet more) season tickets to Mojo Productions fight nights. The host announced another break. The fifteen minute break went fast. One of the production assistants gave Natasha a snack and a drink. M’la fussed over Steve, his hair, his robe and his glitter. 

The host announced, “This is the final round. Both teams start with zero points and the team that answers the most questions correctly wins. We flipped a coin backstage and B’Tann and Steve will go to the green room while Tarsi and Tony stay.”

Tarsi was a large, hulking alien. He’d pumped his fist every time he’d gotten a question right, frowned at the two questions B’Tann and he had missed. He turned to Tony and said, “You have been a worthy opponent. But my wife and I will win.”

“Don’t be too sure about that, buddy,” Tony replied, with a competitive gleam in his eye.

By now, Natasha shouldn’t care if Tony and Steve won. Sam had just reported that they had broken into a space ship, Thor was working on the controls, and he was working to find Earth on the portal generator. 

“Thor says he can get us to Asgard with the generator,” Sam replied.

“Good, whatever,” Natasha replied. She was staying backstage longer than she should. She wanted to see Steve and Tony win, even though she had to escape before they did. She had already slipped a comm to Tony, who could hide it in his robe.

“We can watch the game from here,” Sam said.

She slipped away, making a show of asking a production assistant about a bathroom. As she made her way to the ship, she heard the first question.

“Finish the sentence: I wish my spouse would pay as much attention to me as he does his ________.”

The crowd laughed loudly at the question in the monitors in the corridors leading to the space port. Natasha stopped to see how her friends would answer the question.

Steve raised a hand to rub his chin, but then stopped, clearly not wanting to tick off M’la the makeup artist. “I wish my spouse would pay as much attention to me as he does his armor.”

Tony held up his card: ‘Armor.’ He turned to Steve. “All you have to do is ask.”

Each team had one point.

Natasha was in the space port when the next question was asked. “When it comes to sexual positions, is your spouse a purist, a mambo, or a game of twister?”

“They’re not getting this one,” Clint said as he waved Natasha over to their space ship.

“They’ve surprised us so far,” she said. “I want them to win.”

The rest of the team around a monitor tuned into the show. Tony opened and closed his mouth twice.

“Friend Tony does not know,” Thor observed.

“Come on,” Clint spoke to the monitor. “Wait, how would aliens know about twister?”

“All-Speak and twister is an universal concept,” Thor replied a touch smugly.

“Tony, the question is: When it comes to sexual positions, is your spouse a purist, a mambo, or a game of twister?” the host prompted.

Tony nodded once and said, “Game of twister.”

Steve held up a card with “Game of twister.” Tony and Steve fist-bumped as the studio audience cheered.

The teams were tied. 

“How are they escaping again?” Sam asked. 

Natasha shrugged while she stayed glued to the screen. 

“Our teams are tied after two questions, audience. One more question decides it all. B’Tann, when would your husband say he first realized that he was in love with you?”

B’Tann sighed and said, “When I made him his first meal.”

Up to this point, Tarsi had been sitting up and projecting all the confidence in the world. He held up his card, his face suddenly crestfallen. His card read: “When I bought her her first transporter.”

The audience was so quiet that anyone could hear a pin drop. They wanted Steve and Tony to win, the Avengers wanted Steve and Tony to win, everyone wanted them to.

Could they do it?

Loardi said, “Steve. Tony. You answer this question correctly and you win the game and all the prizes. When would your husband say he first realized that he was in love with you?”

Steve’s glittered face grew fond. He lifted his chin to look at Tony. “When he found me in the ice.”

Tony gasped. The team gasped. The audience gasped. An eon passed before Tony turned over his card.

‘When I found him in the ice.’

He turned to Steve. “How did you know?”

“I’ve always known. I felt the same way. You were the first person I saw --”

“Steve.”

Steve leaned over and kissed Tony, long and slow, full of desperate longing as the audience clapped wildly and confetti fell down from the ceiling.

“That’s one way to stage an escape,” Sam said.

“Riiiighht,” Clint said. “Asgard or Earth, Sam?”

The team raced around getting the ship ready to take off while Hulk kept an eye out for any guards. Thor taxied the ship into launching position.

“Guys, I’m not getting a firm read on a portal to Earth,” Sam reported.

“Asgard it is,” Thor thundered.

“We need to wait for Tony and Steve,” Natasha insisted.

“They’re here,” Hulk shouted.

Steve and Tony were racing up the space port platform, their silky robes flapping in the wind and Steve desperately trying to hold his robe shut. “Get us out of here,” Tony yelled as he ran up the ramp into the ship.

“We’re going to Asgard,” Sam explained.

“Good. Anyplace but here. Punch it, Thor,” Tony ordered.

“Sooooo, what did you win?” Clint asked as the ship lifted into the air.

“Five years worth of tickets to Mojo Productions fight nights and an old Earth radio Mojo wanted to pass off as a priceless relic,” Tony said.

Steve tried hard to pull his robe together as he sat down next to Thor. “Please, Captain, do not get glitter over the controls,” Thor asked politely.

“Thor programmed the portal for Asgard,” Sam explained to Tony.

The ship launched into the space above Mojo’s world. “Indeed, young Sam. Push the button now.” The ship lurched forward into the generated portal.

“They might have clothes on board,” Natasha suggested to Steve and Tony once the ship was underway. “How did you escape?”

Tony explained, “We told the producer we wanted to go somewhere private to celebrate. The guy was more than happy to show us a room -- no doubt full of secret cameras to film everything. As soon as the producer left, we slipped out and here we are.”

“We’re not going to talk about this,” Clint said.

Tony ignored him. “Steve, we’re going to Asgard.”

Steve had eyes and smiles only for Tony. “Good place for a first date.”

“Yes, Captain and Iron Man, Asgard is an excellent place for lovers. I would recommend --” Thor said.

“That Steve and Tony look for clothes. Steve is leaving a trail of glitter wherever he goes,” Clint said.

Tony nudged Steve, “Come on, your glitter is bothering the guy who dresses in purple.”

“Tony --” Steve smiled at Tony. “I meant it. All of it.”

“I know. I did too.” Tony kissed the top of his head. “We can’t take it back now. It’s all on tape, broadcast across the galaxy.”


End file.
